In 1978, Kathy Kleiner Rubin survived a brutal attack by serial killer Ted Bundy when he targeted the Chi Omega sorority house at Florida State University. Enduring severe injuries, including a shattered jaw, she became one of the fortunate survivors of Bundy’s killing spree, which claimed the lives of numerous women in the 1970s.
Decades later, Kleiner Rubin, now retired and residing in South Florida, has shared her story in a memoir titled “A Light in the Dark: Surviving More Than Ted Bundy.” The memoir not only recounts her harrowing encounter with Bundy but also details her survival of childhood lupus and early onset breast cancer.
Reflecting on her journey, Kleiner Rubin offers valuable insights into what people should and shouldn’t say to trauma survivors. Having experienced the aftermath of a traumatic event and the varied responses from those around her, she provides guidance on supporting survivors with empathy and sensitivity.
The night of Bundy’s attack left Kleiner Rubin with physical and emotional scars. She recalls the terrifying moment when Bundy entered her room, assaulted her with an oak log, and left her with life-altering injuries. Despite the severity of the assault, she, along with her roommate, survived when Bundy was startled by a car headlight, prompting him to flee.
Testifying at Bundy’s televised trial in 1979, Kleiner Rubin presented a composed exterior, but internally, the trauma lingered. The trial thrust her into the national spotlight, making her ordeal public news. However, the support she received varied, with some unsure of how to approach her. Kleiner Rubin emphasizes the importance of open communication for survivors, contrary to her parents’ initial belief that silence would facilitate healing.
In her memoir, Kleiner Rubin explores not only the immediate aftermath of the Bundy attack but also her subsequent struggles with health issues. Having faced childhood lupus and battled breast cancer in her early 30s, she underscores the need for sensitivity when discussing medical treatments. Avoiding reminders of the long road ahead and focusing on the present recovery process can be more supportive.
Kleiner Rubin also highlights the impact of social support on a survivor’s healing journey. Encouragingly, she suggests avoiding phrases that may make survivors feel isolated, such as implying a shrinking support network. Acknowledging the complexity of processing trauma, she shares her experience of losing contact with friends after the attack and emphasizes the need for understanding.
Addressing the question survivors dread – “Aren’t you over it yet?” – Kleiner Rubin emphasizes the importance of allowing survivors to heal at their own pace. Rushing their recovery or suggesting failure can be detrimental. Survivors need time and understanding, and questioning their progress can hinder the healing process.
As a survivor who has navigated the complexities of trauma and recovery, Kathy Kleiner Rubin’s insights provide a valuable guide for those seeking to support trauma survivors. Her story serves as a testament to resilience, emphasizing the significance of empathy, active listening, and unconditional support in the face of profound challenges.